Friday, November 5, 2010

I gambled and I didn't win :(

So I know that I took a HUGE risk in moving to New York knowing that the possiblity of the contract not being renewed and I myself took that gamble, and now I've lost :(  My contract is ending in 24 days.  Of those 24 days I'll only be working 17 days!  This is Crazy insane and I can't believe it has really come down to this!  NOW WHAT?  Shane asked me last night what do I want to do now? There is NO want in this situation what so ever there is only what we are going to have to do and I don't even know what that is!  I have been applying my butt off to other jobs for at least 2 months now and NOTHING has happened!  DAMN CPOL/CPAC and their STUPID system and I can't get my resume picked up for NOTHING even though I pratically had other more experienced people write it for me and still nothing!  I hate the way this system works and just because Shane retired I can't even apply for half the jobs :(  I know what I can do, I know what I am qualified for but I'm not even given a chance :(
So now what?  I keep applying for jobs and even apply for jobs that are "below" me now just so that we can at least pay our bills!  If I just go on unemployment that will be like making 8.25 a hour! OMFG I haven't made that little of an amount since I was in HIGH SCHOOL!  This is NUTS!
I still just can't belive that I have put my family in this position, I'm sure a failure :(

2 comments:

  1. You are NOT a failure. You did your best and it didn't work out. But you did not fail. You only fail if you give up. I will continue to pray that something works out. I don't have anything else to offer other than that but please know you have my prayers.

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  2. Dawn, you have only failed if you give up..and knowing you, that is not an option. Keeping you in our Prayers

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