Friday, November 5, 2010

I gambled and I didn't win :(

So I know that I took a HUGE risk in moving to New York knowing that the possiblity of the contract not being renewed and I myself took that gamble, and now I've lost :(  My contract is ending in 24 days.  Of those 24 days I'll only be working 17 days!  This is Crazy insane and I can't believe it has really come down to this!  NOW WHAT?  Shane asked me last night what do I want to do now? There is NO want in this situation what so ever there is only what we are going to have to do and I don't even know what that is!  I have been applying my butt off to other jobs for at least 2 months now and NOTHING has happened!  DAMN CPOL/CPAC and their STUPID system and I can't get my resume picked up for NOTHING even though I pratically had other more experienced people write it for me and still nothing!  I hate the way this system works and just because Shane retired I can't even apply for half the jobs :(  I know what I can do, I know what I am qualified for but I'm not even given a chance :(
So now what?  I keep applying for jobs and even apply for jobs that are "below" me now just so that we can at least pay our bills!  If I just go on unemployment that will be like making 8.25 a hour! OMFG I haven't made that little of an amount since I was in HIGH SCHOOL!  This is NUTS!
I still just can't belive that I have put my family in this position, I'm sure a failure :(


  1. You are NOT a failure. You did your best and it didn't work out. But you did not fail. You only fail if you give up. I will continue to pray that something works out. I don't have anything else to offer other than that but please know you have my prayers.

  2. Dawn, you have only failed if you give up..and knowing you, that is not an option. Keeping you in our Prayers