Mistake?

Have you ever thought that maybe you made a HUGE MISTAKE in your life and wasn't sure what exactly to do about it?  Well, I think I am here now.  I don't regret much of NOTHING that I have done in my life but I think I may have really messed up now :(  I took a HUGE risk by moving my Family across the US, away from anyone we know and any assistance we might be able to recieve because I thought I found "THE JOB" that I could turn into a career.  I really felt that God was telling me that I was meant to come to New York for this job!  Maybe I misintrupted the signs?  I don't know!

I knew that this was a contract position and that the contract would be up on 29 November but for some reason I had faith!  I really did believe that there was NO WAY this program would go away.  It's such an important program, blah blah blah.  Well again, when I'm wrong I can admit that I am wrong and here I am saying it.  I think I was wrong :(

It is a VERY IMPORTANT program to the installations who have a full going program.  Here we don't!  After talking with some "important" folks yesterday, they don't believe in the future of it either or they believe that there will be a "gap" in there.  Thus, the contract will run out and then they'll either bring back contractors for it or change it to GS.  So either way you look at it, I'll be out of a job :(  I know no "OFFICIAL" word has come out on this still but this is not only My feeling anymore, others are sharing it as well.

Speaking of GS, I am DONE.  I am ready to just throw my hands in the air and quit with that!  I have been trying for over THREE YEARS to get into the GS system and it just keeps getting worse and worse for me!  Damn it, I am a good person, I work HARD and I am DAMN GOOD at whatever it is I put my mind to but I can not get a job to save my life :(  With having No Preference really is what hurts me :(  Now, I am informed that the CPAC office here cannot post external postings and that they are sent to an office in Maryland.  Okay, no big deal right?  WRONG, this office in Maryland is behind by approx. 6 weeks in making external postings :(  So the jobs that I could possible get because I am MORE THAN qualified for will not have an exteral posting before the closing date :(  This whole system SUCKS, thats for sure and I am sick of it!

Okay, so I've been now applying for jobs with my contract company, which I LOVE by the way, but again, it's contract and you never know when it might go away!  Plus, I've been applying for "normal" civilian employment but nothing yet.  I did get a call from AFLAC but as I researched it more I would have to pay to get a licence and so forth, yeah NO, if I have to PAY to get a job, something is wrong there!

So here I sit, not knowing what else to do at this point.  I know I really need to just leave it in God's hands and he will provide for me but when I don't know exactly how I am going to be able to pay rent and bills, I get a little worried!